My blog

How to connect the world? How to express myself?


I have many things to regret. For example, I lied to my office or school to be absent. Also, I lied to my office or school after I had missed some arrangement. Most of such episodes depressed or made people mad if it was rebelled. However, I regret myself only for myself as I didn't keep myself polite.

There're many people who can say that it is not good so I should not do it. What is very interesting is most of them can't tell the reason why not to do, although  they give candid advice with robust confidence. When I was young, I hated to go the class. My mother said that I should go to the school everyday. I asked why to my mother, then she said "as a child should go to the school." As I didn't be convinced at all, she also said that she feared that someone would accuse our family due to senselessness. I knew that my mother said not from spitefulness but from lack of validated answer. Nevertheless I felt very strange. 

Many would have experienced such unjustness but most would also grew up to say same thing as my mother. There is a Japanese proverb, "to lie is the first step to be a thief" which is similar to the attitude of my mother. This sounds really strange too. Many people must have had experiences to have lied but few people would be thieves. Moreover, I could get job and marrying though I had had lied. Of course, I thought that this proverb is not cool because I really believe that we should decide what to do by my own thoughts and we can decide what we are. This proverb didn't make no more sense than superstition of old.

Some or many people can make judge what to do or what not do only based on the common sense they're believe in. I have thought them as good-natured but also who has not their own. However, I have been changing my thought. In detail, I start to doubt the assumption that we can decide ourselves.